Week 365

Positive Post Sunday, February 25, 2024… Week 365

Written by Dan’s daughters- Heather, Stacy, Alison, and Kristy. 

When we told our dad we would handle his Positive Post this week, he tried to micromanage it in true Dan fashion. He requested that we don’t make it about him. Luckily, we have no problem ignoring him, because how could we NOT make it about him and our current situation? 

On Wednesday, our dad had heart surgery for an aortic dissection and another surprise hole near another valve. We learned after surgery that things were worse than expected when they got in there. We’ll spare you all the details (trying to not make it ALL about the situation to somewhat appease Dad.) Let’s just say it’s an absolute miracle our dad is with us today. The few days that followed were so up and down that we were laughing one minute and crying and praying with all our might the next minute.  We are so happy to say that at this point on this beautiful Sunday morning, our dad is doing so well, on the mend, and in great spirits.

We often joke that this man has 9 lives. You all probably feel that too as family and friends that are probably getting accustomed to hearing things like this about our dad- but the truth is, God uses these situations for his own reasons.  Each time we are in this situation, we are shown so many things from our Creator. To keep this post positive and not ALL about my dad per his request, we’d like to share the things we’ve learned through the trials God took us through this past week and the things we’ve seen so clearly. Bare with us because this will be long winded- which is also in true Dan fashion 😉 

1- God Answers Prayers- And it’s usually Not in the Way We Want. 

It’s often messy or scary –  He uses an unfavorable situation to answer a prayer and it can seem unfair or frustrating, but God never wastes our pain- he uses it to either teach us, or to give us what he knows we need. He has His own way of answering our prayers whether or not we like it. A couple of major prayers we have all had answered this week:  getting more quality time together, getting over a fear of flying, relationships starting to mend, and needing to slow down a little. That last one is OUR prayer for Dad- not his prayer 😉 

2- Marriage is Everything

OH MY GOSH, this marriage between our parents. Mom- you are INCREDIBLE. You just handle what needs to be handled and you do it with grace and godliness. Marriage has to come only second to God. And for our parents, it does. Watching the love between these two this week has been so heart-warming. They are both so blessed in the marriage God has given them, and have worked hard to honor it. One particular morning, my dad have a very rough time and we’re told all he was asking for was his wife. She has hardly left his side, but when we force her to come home and eat and rest, he is anxiously waiting for her to get back. They are clearly each other’s rock and comfort. A marriage we all hope to emulate and learn from. God, thank you for working in our parent’s marriage to give us such a strong foundation for our family. 

3- Our Family has an Incredible Community Surrounding Us. 

The outpouring of love and support has been overwhelming. We have had people feeding us, bringing us coffee, and taking care of us mentally. We have had friends and family checking in and allowing us to cry to them on the phone. Us 4 girls have had help with babysitting so we haven’t had to worry about our kids while we spent days at the hospital. Out of state neighbors have handled houses and pets so Alison and Heather could leave last minutes. Don’t even get us started on the prayers we have all felt. Dad had an absolute army of payer warriors sending them Up for him. He actually could feel it. We could all feel it. Thank you to everyone who has been supporting us this week and always..

4- Humor and Laughter Are Gifts. 

Our dad’s sense of humor is something he has passed down to all of us. And really, it started from his Papa, to his dad, to us, and now to our kids. We are a family of laughs, jokes, and pranks. This one thing has taken us through so many trials. The 4 of us, and our mom would be sitting in the waiting room laughing and giggling while our Dad was in surgery. It is such a gift to be able to use humor to stay positive and it’s something we are all thankful to have with each other each time we are in these situations. Each day, we judged our dad’s sprits by whether or not he was joking around. Heather would text, “is he joking?”, and there was only ONE morning for a very short period of time where he was not joking around. Other than that- lot’s of laughs in that hospital room even though we were not supposed to make him laugh. Before Alison went in for the first time after he woke up, he said he was not sure how he would get through it without laughing and had Stacy explain to her that it is very painful to laugh and no jokes allowed. They laughed anyway. We can think of so many thing we laughed about with our dad the past few days, but he’d probably kill us if we wrote them here. If you know Dan, you know he has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh, so just know he held onto that through this whole thing and did not lose it during this very scary situation.

5. This Family Takes Care of Each Other. 

From coordinating switching out visits, figuring out kids, and making sure everyone eats, to being there for each other any time one of us had a breakdown or moment of anxiety. We handled making sure our mom was cared for and getting sleep and nutrition. We made sure dad wasn’t alone in his room without a family member. We worked together to coordinate cars driving to and from the hospital and making sure Mom’s house was somewhat clean each time she came home. We seamlessly have taken care of each other and our families. We’re getting a little too good at this. It may seem weird to include this- as if we’re bragging. But honestly, we are. Not bragging about what we have done, but bragging about the relationship we have and the way we can come together and handle situations without arguing, without taking any stress out on each other, but working together.  We are so thankful for that and really, it’s something we get from our parents who have modeled it for us growing up.  As Kristy put it a few days ago- “Thanks for raising us so we all still want to be around each other as adults” God, thank you for giving us the strength this past week to work together and take take care of our parents. 

We truly have been humbled by everything God has done in the past week, and, really, always. Thank you again, to everyone who has reached out, and we will all continue to pray for healing in our dad’s long journey ahead. And don’t worry, Dan will be back next week for your regularly scheduled programming. 🙂

-Dan’s adoring daughters