Week 221
Positive post Sunday, May 16, 2021- Week 221.
I’m sure you’re familiar with the saying, “Happy wife happy life”. Well, like many husbands I suppose, I have some work to do.
Have you ever been told that you can be annoying? I know this is shocking to my family, but I have. In fact, recently Michele once again reminded me just how annoying and critical I can be, using the word annoying 15 times in the same conversation😊. I’m guessing that Michele doesn’t find this quote from Rita Rudner’s humorous, “I love being married, it’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”. I realize that this may be in direct conflict with my aspiration to have a happy wife and therefore a happy life.
On a serious note, listening and self-awareness are critical skills in any healthy relationship. This reminded me of a saying I learned in a leadership and teambuilding exercise several years ago, “If your told you look very tired 3 times, lie down”. The intent of this saying was to suggest that if you are told something multiple times it might be in your best interest to address the issue and take action. Apparently, I’m a slow learner, as it took 15 times in the same conversation for me to realize that what I might find humorous may not be funny to someone else. In fact, it might be annoying or offensive.
There are many lessons to be learned here. A few include, 1) it’s important to listen to others, especially our loved ones, and 2) we can all benefit from improving our self-awareness. Being a studious researcher, or maybe I’m just always curious, I decided to look deeper into what’s been written on self-awareness.
Here is a very practical and actionable article titled, 7 Examples Of Self-Awareness (and Why It’s So Important) by Hugo: https://www.trackinghappiness.com/why-self-awareness-important/. Hugo suggests that a significant part of our happiness is a result of our personal outlook and that being aware of our own emotions and mindset is a vital step towards happiness. Here’s a sample of what’s covered in the article:
- Being able to focus on something positive when in a negative situation.
- Recognizing a bad habit and the effect it can have on you.
- Learn about your emotional triggers, so you can better deal with negative emotions like anger or hate.
I also found a study on self-awareness titled What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It) by Tasha Eurich. Although it is primarily focused on leadership and the workplace there are certainly transferrable learnings that also apply to our personal lives: https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it. One interesting, yet not surprising, finding was that even though most people believe they are self-aware, only 10-15% of the people studied actually fit the criteria for being self-aware.
For the record, I have a very happy wife and happy life. However, I believe in a continuous improvement way of life and I have some finetuning to do in the areas of listening and self-awareness.
One last link, Here’s a link to an article from Dave Willis, author of The Seven Laws of Love, titled, “4 reasons to ALWAYS listen to your wife”: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/4-reasons-to-always-listen-to-your-wife/. Husbands out there, this might be worth a read!
Do you take action when you receive consistent and repetitive feedback?